


comes 'round in another form

by blackkat



Category: Naruto, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Dimension Travel, Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor, M/M, Orochimaru finally finds his parents, Reincarnation, because there's a lot of it, did I warn for crack, his parents are not entirely happy about being found, so much, so much crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: As it turns out, souls can reincarnate across dimensions. Orochimaru decides this is no obstacle at all in his quest.





	comes 'round in another form

**Author's Note:**

> In my defense, I was very drunk.

“What,” Tony says blankly, blinking at the shape sitting on the foot of his bed.

The shape blinks back, long and slow like a cat, and arches one slender brow, golden eyes drifting down Tony's covered chest and right to the arc reactor’s light. It’s more scientific assessment than sexual curiosity, but Tony has always been more comfortable with the latter and this is no exception.

“Well,” the stranger says, light and strangely sibilant, with an accent Tony can't quite place. “You're certainly not what I expected.”

Somehow, that’s enough to jar Tony's brain back to full awareness, even without the benefit of coffee. He yelps, flinging himself out of bed and grabbing for the armor’s bracelets where they’re lying on the bedside table. Belatedly, he realizes the suit they’re meant to call is still in pieces on his lab table, and he jerks around, putting his back to the wall and hissing, “Jarvis!”

“Sir?” Jarvis asks immediately. “Is there something wrong?”

Tony trips over his words, snaps, “ _Yes_!” and flails expressively at the—the alien? A safe assumption, given the excess of eye makeup, the dead-pale skin, and the eerie smile—the probable alien perched on his mattress.

There's a pause, and then a sound like a staticky sigh. “Very clear, sir,” the AI says dryly, but there's a faint flicker of light. Scan, Tony thinks, and creating a learning AI was clearly, _clearly_ the best thing that Tony ever did.  

“Who the hell are you?” he finally gets out, takes a breath, stops trying to meld himself to the paint.

He—she? The gender line seems particularly blurry here, but given the voice Tony is going to go with he—rises carefully to feet, moving like bones are something other people have, brushing down the wrinkles in his high-collared robe. For a long moment, he looks Tony over, then tilts his head. Golden eyes go just a little wide, almost hurt, and he lifts a hand, hiding his mouth behind the fall of deep purple fabric as he ducks his head.

“Do you really not remember me?” he asks, and between the eyes and the plaintive voice a curl of pure horror slides down Tony's spine. Illegitimate child or former one-night stand, he thinks, unable to decide which would be worse, and can just _imagine_ Pepper’s face when she finds out. He’s going to have to take notes on disappearing from Bruce and relocate to somewhere in the depths of India with no people for miles around. A handy jungle might do the trick. Even Pepper can't slog through jungles in her Jimmy Choos.

Probably.

Maybe.

“I like to think I never forget a pretty face,” Tony says, tries to make it light and just hopes it doesn’t crack with horror. “But you're going to have to give me something to go on here. Is there a circus in town? Barnum and Bailey’s open up the cages for the day? Did you wander out of a Cirque du Soleil dressing room? Loki’s goons swan off and leave you behind?”

Tony's looking for any kind of recognition at the name, but there isn't so much as a flicker. Just faint confusion, and the stranger tips his head forward a little more.

“No memory at all?” he asks, and the voice might be grief-stricken, but those eyes are _sharp_ , watching Tony's every move from under a veil of long lashes.

“I have lots of memories,” Tony retorts. “I just can't remember you starring in any of the— _holy fuck what is that_?”

The truly _massive_ dark violet cobra ignores the slightly hysterical pitch of his voice, slithering over to the stranger’s feet and then right up his legs. There isn't even a flinch as it curls over his shoulders, picks up its head, and stares at Tony with unnervingly intelligent green eyes.

“I told you that reincarnation isn't so simple,” it says grumpily.

 _It_ says.

It _says_.

Tony is officially finished with this day. It’s time to go back to bed and sleep until the world makes sense again.

“I was hardly expecting it to be,” the stranger retorts, dropping his sleeve, and there's absolutely no trace of the previous distress on his face. Tony would be impressed if he weren’t so busy being terrified and offended in equal measure. “But a sense of familiarity has previously been observed in suspected reincarnations—”

The snake scoffs. Tony would like to reiterate that. The _snake_ scoffs, like any middle-aged professor coming across a piece of shoddily supported evidence in a paper. “Hearsay and conjecture,” it huffs.

The stranger huffs right back, batting the cobra’s head—the same size as a _dog’s_ head, at the very least—out of his face without care. “I _know_ , Manda,” he says, and then looks back up at Tony. Some edge of annoyance in his eyes fades out, going softer, and he takes a step closer, offering one hand. “I'm a scientist,” he says, which, well. At least it’s better than opening with _I'm a sorcerer_ or something. “I've spent my life tracking the cycle of reincarnation, and I finally succeeded.”

“Reincarnation,” Tony repeats, more than a little skeptical, and judges the distance to the door and the hallway beyond. “Are you here to tell me I'm Genghis Kahn? Napoleon? Do you want funding to prove you’re actually the reincarnation of Jesus?”

The stranger blinks, stops. Tips his head, like that’s completely confusing, and then arches one delicate brow at Tony, politely waiting for him to finish. After a moment, he smiles slyly, and the shivers going down Tony's back multiply exponentially.

“Not _me_ ,” he says with clear amusement. “I tracked the cycle across dimensions to find _you_. Mother, I've been looking for you for so long. It’s a relief to finally see you alive.”

There's a long moment of complete and utter silence.

“Sir?” Jarvis asks, sharp with worry. “Sir, your heartrate has reached alarming levels. Should I call your doctor?”

“Rogers,” Tony gets out on a wheeze. “Avengers.” Because if anyone can help make sense of this insanity, it’s a group of people who are just as insane.

“At once, sir,” Jarvis confirms. “And—if I may, sir, I cannot identify any traces of another presence in your rooms.”

“Oh!” The stranger lifts a hand to his mouth again, though this time it’s closer to bashful than dismayed. “Forgive me, I thought it would be best to see if surprise would spark any recollection.” There's a shimmer of air, like a heat haze that vanishes in a moment.

Instantly, Jarvis's voice rises. “Sir, be cautious, that snake is a match to a king cobra—”

Manda makes a disgusted sound and drops its head on the stranger’s shoulder. “You humans are far too noisy,” it complains.

The stranger chuckles a little, low and amused, and then folds his hands together under the cover of his sleeves. “Forgive me for entering unannounced, Mother,” he says, and Tony might possibly whimper. “You may not remember me, but I remember you very well. My name is Orochimaru, and I've been searching for you for almost eighty years.”

Tony kind of wishes he'd just kept looking. 


End file.
